Help!
November 28, 2007 
It seems like I am always asking for advice…but I get such good advice that I keep coming back. And now, I need some more. My two-year-old has picked up the words “stupid” and “idiot.” He gets upset and uses this low, evil sounding voice and says, “You are stooopid” or “You are iii-dioot.” I really don’t think that he knows what “stupid” and “idiot” mean…he just knows that it makes his brother and sister mad/sad and that he gets a reaction from Mom and Dad (“Don’t talk like that! Stop it!”), but I need to figure out a way to put an end to it. I am dreading sending him to nursery Sunday because when he gets mad at someone and starts spewing in his evil voice, I know that they will think I am te worst mother in the world, because what kind of mother teaches their two-year-old the words “stupid” and “idiot”…. Selfish, I know. But. It’s the truth. I worry about what people think of me. Sigh. I swear, though, that I didn’t teach him these words. Oldest tends to say that things are stupid (even though not long ago he got after us if we ever said anything was stupid) but I really don’t know where he got idiot. Help!
We kept drilling into their heads that we didn’t say those words. Now that they’re old enough to not say them randomly, they think they’re swear words. If I say something is stupid, I have three verbal police telling me I just said a bad word. It’s a little annoying.
I know what you mean about the nursery thing. It doesn’t end either. I’m that way with school. What they wear, how they look, what they say – it all reflects on me.
If the nursery leaders have their own kids, they won’t think you are horrible, they will only be relieved that other chldren spew those words occasionally. And if they don’t have children yet, well, then they will judge and ensure themselves getting potty mouthed children of their own. Bwah!
No advice unfortunately, sorry. Words happen.
That’s tough. We make a big deal about bad words too. My kids get “smilies” or “frownies” for good and bad choices. Too many of either result in big punishment or big reward. For a bad word they get a frownie which for some reason REALLY means something to them. Now like Stie, if they ever overhear a “stupid” from me talking to someone else I get in big trouble.
No one will think you’re a bad mother! Unfortuntately, kids hear things all over. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, but just reinforce that those aren’t nice words and your family doesn’t say them. Often, if I hear a word that I don’t like and the boys know it, I will say, “I heard something I didn’t like, I’ll give you another chance to repeat that sentence correctly.” I don’t know if that would work for you or not. Rest assured that you’re a good mom.
We do time-outs and I always say, we don’t talk like that in our family. You are a Harlow and we don’t use those words. I’m lucky that time-outs work for me though, I know they don’t work for a lot of other people. When I was young my mom would wash our mouths out with soap!!! Good luck.
You should teach him to hit. Then he won’t have to use his words.
He heard it on a Disney movie, guaranteed. After my kids watched “A Bug’s Life” once (and they watch it a lot) #3, who was 2 at the time, started calling everyone “poo-poo heads!” Oh, and “idiot”? I’m betting that was from CARS. Both stupid and idiot are in the same scene in that movie. Both said by Lightening McQueen –no joke!
I would just remind him that he shouldn’t say it –but also remember that he probably knows he gets mom’s attention when he does say it, so he’ll probably say it more often the angrier you get, you know what I mean? And my son is growing out of his bad words (finally), because it’s not such a “big deal” anymore. At least your son doesn’t scream at the top of his lungs over every offense…? Right? Or is that just my son?
He is obsessed with CARS, so I am sure that you are right, Cheryl. Thanks for all the great advice! You guys are great.